Click this link to visit the NEW and IMPROVED Applesassy site:

www.Applesassy.com

How Linguitastical!

1. ginormous (adj): bigger than gigantic and bigger than enormous
2. confuzzled (adj): confused and puzzled at the same time
3. woot (interj): an exclamation of joy or excitement
4. chillax (v): chill out/relax, hang out with friends
5. cognitive displaysia (n): the feeling you have before you even leave the house that you are going to forget something and not remember it until you’re on the highway
6. gription (n): the purchase gained by friction: “My car needs new tires because the old ones have lost their gription.”
7. phonecrastinate (v): to put off answering the phone until caller ID displays the incoming name and number
8. slickery (adj): having a surface that is wet and icy
9. snirt (n): snow that is dirty, often seen by the side of roads and parking lots that have been plowed
10. lingweenie (n): a person incapable of producing neologisms

In these troubled times, we must all tighten our belts, and do so conscientiously.  Therefore Miss AppleSassy is proud to have found a way to save a few dollars and support a local merchant at the same time.

She was just going about her chores, picking up a pair of shoes from the cobbler, when there they were; a lovely pair of size nine Bruno Magli’s sitting on his bench, basking in a little ray of sunlight, just begging for love.

The price tag said 19.95.  What!?  Unbelievable!  Bruno Magli’s are one of the finest Italian shoes in all God’s creation. How could this be?

So Miss AppleSassy put on her spectacles and inquired.  It seems, my dear Cobbler explained, that a patron left them over a year ago to be repaired and resoled, but never came back.

“Dey are a fine shoe Miss.  De Finest in da world, and I fix dem real nice. They like brand new.” He said in his rich Russian accent.

I of course took a moment to admire his craftsmanship before digging out my childrens milk money to adopt the little darlings.

They are a fine shoe indeed.  Comfortable, stylish, and eco friendly!  After all, by purchasing these peds Miss AppleSassy has avoided any patronization of big box retail stores that ruin our economy.  She has also helped a local business, and recycled too!

If this is what going green is all about, please count this spendthrift fashionista in!

Now I just need to handle that little milk money issue…

My fourth grade daughter was in CRISIS!!!!
She was supposed to memorize the poem “Too Many Amanda’s”  by Loris Lesynski.

She forgot the poem, and left it at school.

“MOTHERRRRR, WHAT am I going to DOOOOOOOO?”
She cried, (at eight pm Sunday night.)

“You could e-mail the author.”

Thus began a charming exchange:

My child sent her flowery, hopeful, pleading request.
Ms. Lesynski replied right away and saved the day.
Little Shelby wrote back, her dramatic and heartfelt thanks, typed in three colors of bold mix matched fonts:

“Thank you, Thank You, YOU’VE Saved
MY LIFE !!!!!!!!”

To which the author and poet, responded:

“Oh that’s great! I like saving lives with poems !!!!!!”